The new "Crash On Out Of Memory Error" capability breaks auto-restart on the docker container

In SOLR-8803 I changed OOME handling from a shell script to Java's CrashOnOutOfMemoryError feature.

It was revealed that this breaks automatic restarting of Solr inside the docker container.

This issue will change OOME handling from CrashOnOutOfMemoryError to ExitOnOutOfMemoryError.  With that option, the cause of the OOME is logged by Java to the console.  There were two primary motivations behind changing the behavior in SOLR-8803:  1) Cross-platform OOME handling.  2) Always having the cause of any OOME available.  This change will preserve both of those.