ArrayData buffers are inconsistent accross implementations

ArrayData implementations seems to share close structure fields accross languages, but their usage is not consistent accross implementation.

Example using ListArray's offsets buffer, in C++, Rust and JavaScript implementation:

 - C++: offset's buffer is the second buffer (validity bitmap is first buffer, and buffers are laid in a type-dependant way) https://github.com/apache/arrow/blob/master/cpp/src/arrow/array/array_nested.cc#L189

 - Rust: offset's buffer is the first buffer (validity bitmap is not part of the collection, and buffers are laid in a type-dependant way) https://github.com/apache/arrow/blob/master/rust/arrow/src/array/array_list.rs#L235

 - JavaScript: offset's buffer is the first buffer (they have fixed position) https://github.com/apache/arrow/blob/8e43f23dcc6a9e630516228f110c48b64d13cec6/js/src/data.ts#L125

Note that we have the same inconsistency for validity and data buffers.

This is important in my project because I would like to transport buffers list accross technologies, and ArrayData seemed the easiest structure to transport.